Weasley Mentality
by Miriflowers
Summary: Post DH.Harry is protective of Hermione, she thinks it is funny. Mostly kind of random, but this is me! Thank you ASTRIDINES, my favorite reviewer, to whom I owe my plot. H/G, R/Hr.


**Hey peeps! It's me again!!!! Again, there is a lack of clapping. You sicken me. Anyways, guess why I'm writing this one? Because someone asked me to! Stop laughing, you deranged psychopaths, he/she really did! His/her username is ASTRIDINES for anyone who wants to check him/her out. That sounded wrong. Let me rephrase: His/her username is ASTRIDINES for anyone who wants to check his/her PROFILE out. Stop cackling in malicious glee you floppy wanded dementor buggerers. Yes, I really did use a fake Potter Puppet Pals Wizard Swear. Deal with it. And yes, I really did have to capitalize all of that. Anyways, she gave me 5 requirements, and I hope that I have filled them amiably. R, R&R. Wondering what weird term I have so randomly coined? Well, here it is! Read, review, and RECYCLE! Yeah, baby. Ahem. On with my demented, directed ramblings on a subject that was suggested to me by a reviewer. Yes, I am that devoted to me review-ees. SO REVIEW FOR MERLINS'S SAKE!**

**Disclaimer: No, I do NOT own the slightly OC weirdness of the characters that will shortly follow. I only own the plot. PSYKE! I got the plot from ASTRIDINES, so I don't even own that! This scary thought just leaves me wondering: "Why am I even writing this in the first place?" Perhaps I will never know…BREAD! Hah. I'll just start writing now, okay? Okay. And yes, I am that odd. I KNOW! I own the text, and my words, and my WEIRDNESS!**

**Hermione's P.O.V.**

It was the morning after then Battle of Hogwarts. I groaned lightly and rolled over; trying to get some more sleep, when I realized that I had just rolled onto someone. I blearily opened my eyes a crack, then when I realized who was under me my eyes shot open. I quickly shot out of bed, then lost my balance (on account that it was far too early, and I had just moved far too quickly) and fell on my posterior. Ron rolled over slightly, then went back to sleep. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding, and heard chuckles from behind me.

I turned around with murder in my eyes, but only rolled them when I saw that it was just Harry and Ginny. I started to turn back, but then I realized Harry AND Ginny. My head whipped around and I gasped in astonishment. Ginny was sitting in Harry' LAP! And Harry had Ginny's lipstick on the corner of his mouth. "Sleep well?" asked Ginny smugly. "Yes, actually." I sniffed, trying my best to cover the blush that was spreading it's way rather alarmingly fast across my face. "I hear that you and Ron finally got together." Ginny said, grinning at me while stealing a smug glance at Harry, who was making cutting motions across his throat. I blushed furiously (not that it would show on my already bright red face) and said rather hotly, "That was private, Harry. And how did you know? I only kissed his once in front of you."

"Once? Is that all you've been doing since the time I fell asleep?" Harry asked, a combination of confused and angry. "No, not at all. We've been doing other things too." I said, than noticed the suggestion in my own words. Ginny was rolling around on the floor in fits of giggles, and Harry storming over to Ron's bed and shaking him awake. Ron pulled himself up and yawned, than got a good look at Harry's enraged face and asked, "Wazgoinon?" "You know what! You can't do that kind of thing in the boy's dormitory!" Harry said, still glaring at Ron with one of the angriest faces I've ever seen him with.

"What kind of thing? What are you talking about, Harry?" Ron asked, nervously backing away from Harry. "You know bloody what! She's like my sister, mate! You can't do that stuff right across from me, it's sickening." Harry said, making me collapse into a fit of laughs. "Harry, it was a simple miscommunication! It sounded wrong, that's all. We didn't do THAT." I said, making Harry calm down and Ron realize what we were talking about. "And how exactly did you get on to this subject?" he asked, in an abnormally high voice. This made Ginny start pounding the floor while keeping up the continuous laugh. "Well," said Ginny, after her laughing fit had passed and Harry and I had opted for the silent route. "we were talking about you and Hermione FINALLY getting together, and then Hermione accidentally said something to Harry, making him think the wrong thing." "And how did you get on the subject of me and Hermione?" Ron asked, still thoroughly dumbfounded.

"Hermione and ME, Ron." I said, rolling my eyes at his lack of grammar skills. "Whatever, you were saying?" he said, then turned back to Ginny. "She had just rolled to the side in her sleep, then she noticed that she had rolled on you and she was shocked out of her wits, can't blame the poor girl, many others would have done the exact same thing." Ginny said, ending with a tone of solemnity that only she was capable of without breaking out into a fit of giggles. "Shut it, Ginny, it's not funny." Ron said, his ears turning it's usual red. "Sorry I jumped to conclusions, I suppose the Weasley mentality is rubbing off on me." Harry said, earning a chorus of laughs from Ginny and me.

"You're all barking. Now can you pipe down so I can get some sleep?" Ron asked, leaning back into his pillows. Harry, Ginny, and I shared an evil glance, then started creeping forward slowly. Very slowly. Ron started snoring again, and we moved in for the kill. "GET UP, GET UP, YOU SLIMY TOE-RAG! IT'S TIME FOR ALL LITTLE GITS TO GET UP, ICKLE RONNIKINS!!!!" Ginny screamed, while Harry and I tore off Ron's blanket and pulled open the window. "What the bloody hell?" Ron yelled, starting, then wincing at the sunlight. "Go back to sleep, or better yet, to your mental hospital." Ron said, sinking back into bed (again) and burying his head in his pillow. I yanked the pillow away, making him glare at me like I was a traitor, and asked, "You'd really send me to a mental hospital?" Ron seemed indecisive for a moment, making Harry and Ginny "OOOH!" in antagonistic glee, but then said, "You could come back on the weekends."

It was then that I jumped him. We started wrestling while Harry and Ginny goaded us on, chanting, "Fight, fight, fight!". I remember making eye contact and thinking how handsome he looked with his hair tousled like that, then the next thing I know, he's snogging my brains out. "Oh, come on! You guys aren't good sports at all! I suppose I owe you that galleon then, Harry." Ginny sighed, palming the gold coin over to Harry, who quickly pocketed it. I either didn't notice, or didn't care, because I didn't stop to think about it, because I was…preoccupied at the moment.

Without any warning, the door burst open, and I heard cries of, "MY EYES! MY POOR EYES! MUM, COME SEE THIS!" Ron and I immediately jumped apart, but when Mrs. Weasley's head popped in the door, we had forgotten to unlace our hands. "OH RON! YOU FINALLY TOLD HERMIONE HOW YOU FEEL. ARUTHUR! ARTHUR, COME LOOK!" Mrs. Weasley cried, making Ron and me flinch. George waved to us cheerily from behind his mother, and I'm sure that Ron would have given his a rather unpleasant hand gesture had his mother not been there.

"I think that now would be the time to make a tactical escape through the window." I whispered, and Ron, Ginny, and Harry nodded their agreement. Approximately one minute and a half later, we had summoned our brooms (all except for me, I held onto the back of Ron's for dear life) and were flying down to the ground, away from our potential and complete embarrassment. "Remind me to murder George in his sleep. I haven't even had breakfast yet!" Ron said as we landed. Five more minutes later, we walked into the great hall and I stopped hyperventilating. We next sat down to a well earned breakfast and started eating (or inhaling in Ron's case).

"We can't escape her forever, you know." Harry said, wincing at the thought of his own untimely demise. Being smothered to death was not high on anyone's "Things I want to do" list. "Well, think of it this way, it could be worse!" I said, trying to sound upbeat, but coming out with the impression of being VERY frustrated. "Yeah, imagine what it will be when one of us get's married." Said Ginny, shuddering at the thought. "Yeah, I agree with the twins on that one subject, I'm DEFINITELY going to put mum in a full body-bind curse when I get married." Ron said, stealing a quick glance at me then returning to his bacon.

"Ooooh, let me guess who you have in mind, then." Ginny said, rubbing her hands in malicious glee at the thought of embarrassing Ron and me any further. "Please Ginny, we just ESCAPED from a potentially life-threatening, highly embarrassing situation. No need to get us all into another one." Harry said, putting a hand on her shoulder and looking deep into her eyes. "Oh, fine. But you owe me one." Ginny said grumpily, then winked slightly, so that Ron wouldn't notice it. "You're on." Harry answered, and bit my lip to stop from laughing. "Oh shut up, Hermione, I know for a fact that you're probably going to be doing the EXACT same thing when Ron finally extricates himself from his breakfast." Ginny said, enunciating rather clearly and loudly near the end, but still not getting a reaction out of her sibling.

"It's like he's in a complete different universe when he's eating." Harry said, wonderingly and I caught on to his joke. "Quick! Get a camera, I think he's going in for the jam!" I said, putting a hand over my mouth wonderingly and gasping in a highly exaggerated fashion. "He's-I think he's-YES! We've made the Zoological discovery of the century! He's spreading the jam on the toast like a regular human being!" Ginny said, joining in the fun and clasping her hands next to her face with a wondering look in her eyes that made us all crack up. Except for Ron, that is. "I wonder that if Hermione danced the can-can naked on a table if he would look up." Harry said, and even though it was crude, I had to agree with him. "Hermione did WHAT?" asked Ron looking up from his food with a shocked expression on his face.

"It was a joke, Ronald." Ginny said, mimicking my bossy voice perfectly. "Do I really sound like that?" I asked, still in denial. "Yes." They answered in unison. "Okay, okay, you win." I said, shaking my head and going back to my breakfast. "I still think-" I started, but was interrupted by a chorus of, "No, Hermione." "But I-" I tried again, but was given the same response. "My voice does NOT sound like that." I said, earning a rapid-fire response of: "Does."

"Doesn't."

"Does."

"Doesn't."

"Does."

"Fine." I said, then went back to my breakfast one last time. "Third floor broom closet, ten minutes." Ron whispered in my ear. I grinned and nodded. So our week passed, with rebuilding the castle, dodging Mrs. Weasley's full wrath for not letting her dote on us, and excessive amounts of time in broom closets. After the funerals we went home with heavy hearts, and we will never truly heal, but we will survive with our scars. And our Weasley mentality.

**O. M. M. That was really fun to write! Sorry if you don't like it, ASTRIDINES, but the excessive ludicrousness of me is what makes it my story. Hope you liked it, R, R & R, peeps!**

**-Miriflowers**


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